Access Nurses Weekly- Access News- 3
Volume 5 Number 16 May 5, 2006
Access Nurses Traveler Erma-Emergene Carter has been nominated as Poet of the Year by the International Society of Poets. Congratulations Erma!
Nursing Humor
-You know you are a nurse if…
You know you’re a nurse if… you would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley.
Your sense of humor gets more warped each year.
Almost everything can seem humorous… eventually
You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they know
You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to come in to work.
You’ve been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up.
You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you did before you started nursing and know some that even a sailor doesn’t know.
Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you of all different colors.
You live by the motto “to be right is only half the battle, to convice the doctor is more difficult”
You’ve told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker and to holler if they need help.
Your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago’s water tank
You find yourself checking out other customers veins in the grocery store waiting line.
You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will drop dead near you and you’ll have to do CPR on your day off.
Your finger has gone places you never thought possible.
You have had people vomit or pee on you and you change your clothes and keep on going.
Your lunch break does not exist and you can’t remember when the last time you actually sat down except to chart.
You can actually read a doctors handwriting and are starting to write just like them.
1. Featured Forum Topic
I often find myself with nothing to do…
2. Earning Power
Earn up to $2500 per week in California.
4-13 week assignments.
Shared housing.
Must be willing to work between 4 and 6 shifts per week.
Must be willing to work at multiple hospitals within a 40 mile radius.
Current Openings:
ICU & Tele in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Orange Country and San Diego
Call your recruiter for details.
3. Per Diem Nursing Jobs
If you have extra time, we have extra shifts! (888) 346-8773 or (888) 34-NURSE
Boost Your Pay with Per Diem Opportunities from Access Nurses… How does $500 on your day off sound to you? Access Nurses offers high paying per diem shifts throughout the state of California. Pick up additional shifts at local hospitals to boost your weekly pay; if you work enough hours, you can even take advantage of the benefits that Access Nurses can offer to full-time personnel. Register now to get started, or call us toll-free at (888) 346-8773 for more information!
4. Featured Travel Nursing Assignments
Contact your recruiter or call Access Nurses at 1-866-687-7390 to inquire about the following jobs!
Specialty: Med Surg, ICU
Positions: 5
Shift: all
Start Date: ASAP
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Specialty: Cath Lab, ICU, MS, OR PACU
Positions: 20
Shift: all
Start Date: ASAP
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Specialty: ER
Positions: 1
Shift: 12 hour nights
Start Date: May, 2006
Location: Chinle, AZ
Specialty: ER
Positions: 5
Shift: 12 hour nights & days
Start Date: June 7th
Location: Sacramento, CA
Specialty: ICU/Tele
Positions: 2
Shift: 12 hr shifts (evenings and nights)
Start Date: ASAP!
Location: Watsonville, CA
Specialty: CCU
Positions: 6
Shift: 12 hr rotating
Start Date: ASAP!
Location: Santa Barbara
Specialty: PICU
Positions: 4
Shift: 7a-7p OR 7p-7a
Start Date: ASAP
Location: Dallas, TX
Specialty: ER
Positions: 3
Shift: 7a-7p OR 7p-7a
Start Date: ASAP
Location: Houston, TX
Specialty: ICU
Positions: 5
Shift: Days and Nights 12 hours
Start Date: ASAP
Location: Lake Charles, Louisiana
Specialty: ICU
Positions: 5
Shift: Nights
Start Date: 5/1/2006, or 5/15/2006 for HIGH pay
Location: Greenville, North Carolina
5. Referral Program
EARN $5000
Each time you refer a new travel nurse to Access Nurses, we will pay you $250.00 when they complete their first assignment. If you reach ten referrals, you will receive an additional $2,500.00 bonus! That is a total of $5,000.00 for referring ten friends who complete an an assignment with Access Nurses.
To refer a friend, call us Toll Free at 1-866-687-7390.
6. Forward To A Friend
If you know travel nurse friends who would benefit from this newsletter, please forward it to them. We are always looking for great new members!